Coming Out

Now that we have successfully made it past the anatomy scan I guess it's time to come out with this pregnancy. I know most normal preggos can't wait to announce their pregnancies but for me, announcing makes me incredibly uncomfortable and anxious. If it were up to me, I wouldn't announce anything until the baby was actually born and safely in my arms but that's unfortunately not an option since I'm running out of shirts that hide my bump.

Announcing makes me uncomfortable for a few reasons:

-With our first pregnancy we announced at 12 weeks since that was supposedly the "safe zone" (another term that makes me cringe). We soon learned all too well that making it out of the first trimester doesn't guarantee safety in the least bit and were stuck having to untell everyone, which only made an already really tough situation even more upsetting. There were even people who came up to me months later who hadn't been filled in that wanted to know how the pregnancy was going, or even later on, how the baby was doing and that definitely stung. So what if we go ahead and tell everyone and then something goes wrong again? On the other hand, with our second pregnancy we were planning on waiting until after the anatomy scan to share the news and then we never even made it that far so most people don't know I was even pregnant a second time which in a way makes me feel like to most people our daughter didn't even exist and that is a pretty horrible feeling. 

-Most people do not know anything about the absolute hell we have been through to even get to this point so I can almost be sure of the reaction I will get when I do announce my pregnancy. People are going to want to oh and ah and jump up and down and no one is going to understand how difficult this pregnancy has been (and will likely continue to be) for me emotionally or why I'm not shouting it from the rooftops like a normal person would. And inevitably, I will get that dreaded question that I mentioned in one of my previous posts - is this your first?

-As someone who struggled with infertility for a year, I know just how bad a pregnancy announcement can hurt. You never really know who might be having a tough time getting pregnant or may have recently gone through a loss and I would hate for the news of my pregnancy to cause that kind of pain to anyone. 

My plan for coming out at work is to share the news personally with my department. They all know, for the most part, what we have been through the past two years and have been incredibly supportive so I feel like if I am going to announce to anyone, it should definitely be them. As far as everyone else at work, I figure I'll just start wearing maternity tops and people will notice on their own and spread the word for me. 

I have several close friends that I am actually excited to share the news with and will probably send out a few e-mails this week to let them know. But one thing is definitely for sure - there will be no announcing via Facebook until this baby is born.