A Silver Lining

22 Weeks

It's been a while since I posted. Last week was kind of crazy. Work is so busy right now which is really annoying because it's kind of cutting into my baby planning time (much like it cut into my wedding planning time a few years back). I did manage to find some time, however, for baby preparation. We went to look at another daycare which neither of us were really thrilled with and we made our inaugural trip to Babies R Us and started our registry. Both of us were kind of overwhelmed with all of the stuff so we took care of some of the essentials in the store and then I came home and took care of most of the finishing touches online. It still needs some work but I'm pretty much done, for the most part. A big thanks to my sister for all her recommendations. I'm sure she's sick of me e-mailing her every two minutes with questions about onesie sizes and different types of pacifiers but without her advice I would probably still be wandering aimlessly around Babies R Us.

I also had lunch this weekend with my good friend Megan and her beautiful, 5 month old rainbow baby girl. Megan and I actually met online shortly after we said goodbye to our son. Feeling very alone, like there was no one who really understood what I was going through, I posted something on the Termination for Medical Reasons message board looking for other ladies in the DC area and Megan responded. Megan had just recently said goodbye to her second son and was also looking for someone who "got it." The first time we got together we met for coffee and ended up talking for hours (both of our husbands actually texted us at some point during the evening to make sure we were ok). We continued to meet up pretty regularly after that for dinners and shopping and quickly formed a friendship. With Megan there was (and still is) no getting hurt by someone saying the wrong thing because they just didn't get it, or frustration of struggling to find the words for how I was feeling because she completely understood what I was going through and felt exactly the same way - on every level. 

Megan and I both got pregnant again within about a month of each other and it was kind of comforting to have someone to go through the journey with who understood exactly just how terrifying of a journey it was. Sadly, that pregnancy ended in our second loss and I don't think I would have made it through that incredibly tough time without Megan's friendship, support and experience (I'm not sure Jon would have either, there were a few times he had to call her for advice when I was so hysterical that he didn't know what to do). For Megan though, her third time was the charm and she gave birth to her rainbow baby in April. Not only was I so incredibly happy for her, but seeing her happiness started to give me hope that we would one day have our rainbow baby too, and that was the first time in a while that I'd had any hope.

We may not have grown up together, or gone to college together and even though we have only known each other for two years we share a special connection and I know our friendship will bond us for life. Megan's friendship has been the silver lining in a very horrible few years and I am so grateful that we found each other.

On a final note, tomorrow is our fetal echo. Keep your fingers crossed for us.