Third Times the Charm?

A rainbow baby is a baby that is born after a loss. A few weeks ago we saw this rainbow when we were sitting outside for dinner. Hoping it's a sign.

I created this blog several months ago but have been putting off actually writing my first entry until now.  I think maybe I was afraid I would jinx myself.  Like if I started writing things would go bad with this pregnancy and then there'd be this painful reminder out there on the internet of yet another baby that we'd never get to meet.  However, after a really good 15 week growth scan last week I am starting to feel like maybe the third time really will be the charm and so here I am finally writing my first ever blog entry.

If you are reading this blog then you probably know me and most of the sordid details of our journey to have a baby so I won't go into too much detail.  Let's just say it's been a terribly painful, heartbreaking journey that's taken the better part of the past two years.  For most people, a positive pregnancy test equals a baby but for us, it's only meant heartbreak.  At least until now (I hope).

I found out I was pregnant this time around at the beginning of May and so began my ride on the crazy train (as we like to call it in the online baby loss community).  Gone are the days of a blissfully happy (and unaware of all the millions of things that could possibly go wrong) pregnancy that I got to have for 18 weeks the first time around (and that most normal people are lucky enough to have for 40 weeks) and instead it's replaced with a pregnancy spent in constant fear and anxiety just waiting for the doctor to tell you something is wrong. 

With each good test result and ultrasound though I've started to feel a little more secure in this pregnancy and I'm finally letting myself get excited because I'm finally starting to believe that this third time will be the charm and this will be our rainbow baby.