Pre-Anatomy Scan Anxiety

Tomorrow is the big day - the anatomy scan. I have been in Vegas for work the past few days which has been a good distraction but now that I'm home and the appointment is about 16 hours away, I am starting to freak out. I am trying to go into the appointment with a positive outlook since our 15 week scan went so well but that was 4 weeks ago and a lot can change in 4 weeks. 

There's also just a lot of anxiety around the appointment in general since we got the bad news with our first pregnancy at the anatomy scan. It's amazing how quickly your life can completely change. I can remember very vividly what I did in the days leading up to the anatomy scan with our first pregnancy - I went to Target, I made a lasagna for our neighbors who'd just had a baby and on the day of the scan I went to work completely on cloud 9 because that was the day we were going to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. At the time, that's all an anatomy scan was to me - an opportunity to find out what you were having. I had know idea it was much more than just a "gender scan" (I absolutely HATE it when people call it that). 

The appointment started out so well. I can remember our excitement when the ultrasound tech told us we were having a boy. I also can remember how quickly the tech's disposition changed and the agonizing wait while she went to get the radiologist to give us the results of the scan and then the radiologist coming into the room and telling us something was wrong with our baby's heart. Every detail of that appointment is forever etched in my mind and the pain and heartbreak we experienced that day and for the weeks and months following is something I will never be able to forget. I went into that appointment full of hope and excitement and came out a completely different person.

This upcoming appointment stirs up a lot of emotions and memories and I really just wish I could fast forward to tomorrow afternoon.